Cruel and Unusual Punishment

Today was a gorgeous day. My people had the windows and back door open. I get nervous when the back door is open because it squeaks in the wind. When I get nervous I pace and glue myself to my tall girl person's leg. She got frustrated with me and let me hang out in the back yard for most of the afternoon. Around 4:00, she came out and shoved a pill down my throat. I thought that was strange, but whatever. I was outside and I was happy. Then I started to feel a little loopy. My bald person got home from work and I had a hard time focusing on him. Everything was ok though because they started talking about walking somewhere and my ears perked up. Before I knew it, I had my collar and leash on. Time for a walk!

I snapped out of my stupor and headed to the door. My tall girl person and I were going for a walk! Oh boy! Oh boy! I still walked at the end of my leash like usual, but I wasn't able to pull as hard as I like to. Everything was going well until I saw the dreaded building. Oh no! Not the vet! I decided, there is no way she's getting me into that building. I started twisting and pirouetting on my leash, but to no avail. We were in the building before I realized what had happened.

I immediately had to stand on the scale and then heard my person and the nurse talking about how I've gained weight. I'm now up to 69 lbs. My person started explaining how there's an almost 2 year old at home now and the nurse immediately understood. I get to pick up all sorts of goodies that fall on the floor and regular walks have been pushed to the bottom of the to-do list.

After being humiliated on the scale, the nurse told two of her friends that I was coming to the back and to get ready. I think her exact words were something like "Norm's here. It's going to take three of us to trim and grind." Oh no. Nail trim time. I tried to fight, but was so weak. They were able to drag me to the room. My person didn't come in with me. I howled and screamed and put on a good show once I was in the back, but they told my person that I actually did pretty well for them. I was just "all talk". Maybe if I hadn't been feeling so weak...

Finally, it was time to see the doctor. My person came into the room and the doctor did his exam. I got two shots and a short lecture about needing to lose a little weight. I should be between 60 and 65 lbs. I did great. I stood at the door the whole time hoping they would let me leave, but I didn't put up a fight or scream like I did during my nail trim. The doctor said everything was good and we were on our way.

I had a nice little walk home and then crashed as soon as I got inside. Now I feel so sleepy. I can hardly keep my eyes open. I blame the little pill that was shoved down my throat this afternoon. I hope my people know that I do not appreciate the sneak attack. Being drugged and then tricked into a walk just to end up at the vet? Not cool.